Incident acknowledged. Tourniquet applied on the floor. Sign to return to duty this shift.
I waive everything. My leg is probably fine. The schedule has no slack.
Stand down, retreat, and pick one. No hard feelings.
Package covers employment matters only. Any criminal sentencing proceeds separately. HR will visit you inside.
Termination + grievance paperwork, effective now. Sign and go home — or don't.
Note: firing authority requires a conscious supervisor.